I am having trouble lately feeling thankful for what I have now. I keep remembering things from before the big move across the state, and that never helps. I had opportunities everywhere, and now I have almost none. Unless I have the appropriate scores, and even then there isn't much.

And then there's the matter of my "relationship", if you can call it that. I don't know if I can anymore. I care about her, a lot, but I don't feel much reciprocation from her. It's hard, to try and connect with someone who half the time you can't get a hold of or she seems so disconnected or disinterested that it just hurts to watch them seem to not care. Maybe she does, maybe she doesn't... I just want to know if she actually wants to try or is just going to leave me when she goes off to college. I want to know if I should actually fight. I want to, but I can not be burned again. It still hurts too much from the last time.